Can I Love Knowing That I Might Not Ever Receive It Back? Part 1.

I had that question posed to me about our youngest son. He has brain damage/autism and other issues from his past and she asked me that question in this way; " If you knew today he would never be able to love you back in a way you want him to, can you still give him love?" I was not able to answer back right away. It took me some time to digest it and figure out what my honest answer would be. Some moments, as I reflected on it, I wanted to say yes and some moments, no. This question stuck with me for sometime. I am still wrestling with it emotionally but intellectually, I keep thinking about how, as Christians, we are to love others out of obedience, not what they can give back to us. That is very hard as a human being to do. Not only is that questions relevant to my personal life, it is relevant to life as a minister/follower of Christ. Our world says to only love those who can give back to you the same or more than you gave to them. If they can't give you anything, they are not worth your time.   There will be several parts to this topic coming up in the following weeks. I hope you will stay with  me and chew on this question with me. 

This is the first scripture I chose to reflect on this week.  It is a good beginning for me as I process this year, what it means to "truly" love someone without demanding that they love me back.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. Without getting too theological, I noticed something in this verse, "as I have loved you". I began to reflect on what that meant and in a nutshell, Jesus sacrificed his own life out of His love for us. He did it knowing He might not get anything in return. He did it out of a deep, deep, sacrificial love. Can we do that? I think if we have a relationship with Jesus, if we abide in Him daily, if we see the relationship as more than just going to church or living rules, then yes we can. Will the emotions still be there? Yes. Will it be frustrating? Yes. Will we mess up? Yes. But we have the CORE motivation of sacrificial love and the Lord will continue to guide and direct us and prune away our selfish nature if we let Him.

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the reason I get frustrated is because of my own expectations of needing to be loved validated, etc. I am human and those things are part of my human nature but following Christ means letting go of my expectations of someone and what I need/want from them. I need to be able to accept what they can give.  As a follower of Christ, He tells me to "come as you are". I need to be able to say that to others that the Lord places on my path to love. 

 

 Next time: What does this "love" look like?