When Is God Going To Bring Me a Husband?

Before you panic...this is NOT ME!!

Recently, I had a conversation with someone about MARRIAGE.....she is young and wanting to get married so badly. I could feel her pain and angst over Jesus "making" her wait in her eyes.I tried to encourage her by tellng her that I was single for a long time(20 years to be exact)before I found Mr. Right For Me!  She literally gasped and said these words, "God would NEVER make me wait that long, would He?"  Over the years, I have had that response from several single women who were in their late 20's/early 30's and just rolled my eyes. I could have been offended but decided to be mature and not say anything but this time, I said something.

I looked at her and said, "Well that depends. Do you just want to be married OR do you want to marry the one that is best for you? If you want to just be married, you can manipulate that yourself! If you want to wait for God's best, then you have to be content and trust that the Lord you follow has your best interest in mind". She just looked at me with a look of confusion. I went on to explain to her that it is very easy to get married! It takes patience to wait for the right one!

After being married for almost 11 years now, there are quite a few reasons that I am glad I let Jesus lead the way and not myself.  Here are just FIVE of them!

1. I HAD the opportunity to get  married before and could have manipulated  my way into marriage. But, it just didn't feel right and there were red flags all over the place. Often, as women, we ignore those "red flags" and go through with it just to be married. In my experience, the people who I know did that, confessed later that they had these gut feelings that it wasn't right  and they ignored them. And they were paying the price.

2. I had so much freedom to serve the Lord. As a Christian, I was able to fully give to Him, my time, my financial resources and my full, undying love. I had fun serving the Lord and being single. It took me to places around the world that I would have never gotten to go.  Though I LOVE my husband and kids, I don't have that freedom anymore to take off to some foreign place or even give 100% here and am constantly torn between ministering to my family and to the people who come my way.

3. The man that I ended up marrying at 40(yes you heard me!)turned out to be just right for me! He is kind, he respects me, he honors me, he believes in me.
                                         I am a better person because of him.

4. Parenting our children together...I don't know if any of the men I knew before could have handled what we have gone through together with our sons medical and emotional issues. My hubby is "just the right man to parent these boys".
5. Most importantly, I met and married my best friend! He and I are "in sync" and though we have had our troubles of adjusting(this is his first marriage as well), we have the maturity now to stick it out and when we fall down..we get right back up...together OR help the other one up. No running away...in fact, in our vows, we made a promise before everyone to never let divorce be an option. We would always work it out. And so far....we are! And we will.

So, single ladies, the next time you think about whining(and I did do my share of it as a younger woman), ask yourself that question....do you just want to be married or do you want to marry the one that is best for you?   Sure it is lonely, sure you have a God-given desire to be married, sure you feel left out sometimes...but your Heavenly Father loves you more than anything. He DESIRES all of you...not just a part. And most of all, He wants the BEST FOR YOU!
So, in all seriousness, take it to the Lord and ask Him to continue to guide you and to help you be content in your current situation. I gaurantee that HE will lead you down the right path and no matter how long you think it might take, it will always be the right timing. TRUST HIM! He can be counted on......

"He who deals wisely and heeds [God's] word and counsel shall find good, and whoever leans on, trusts in, and is confident in the Lord--happy, blessed, and fortunate is he". Proverbs 16:20

Thoughts About Mother's Day

I had a horrible Mothers Day...I have had bad ones for the last 8 years. Why? Because of the "Ghosts of Birthmothers Past", that is why!! Every year, the boys start acting out the few days before and I get sad because my hopes of being loved and showered with adoration are blown EVERY YEAR. Hubby has to take them to get a card and then they just sign their names.(to give them credit though, they do pick out good cards!!!)  Hubby has to coach them to do everything. I sometimes dive into fantasy land wishing for just one Mothers Day where I was the queen and all day they wanted to shower me with affection and kudos for rescuing them and serving them all year long! NOT!!!!

So, this year, along with some other things going on...I had blowout! A real live, childish tantrum..seriously! Hubby thought I had just lost it! I ran away and had a very lonely lunch at Sonic where I poured my heart out to God and cried for over an hour. I went home and took a very long nap. I felt better when I woke up but I knew the damage had been done. My family had been hurt deeply and  for the last 3 days, I have wanted to apologize but I just couldn't. I felt if I did that, son#2, who has attachment problems, would take advantage of my weakness. I was afraid.

Then today, after God had given me sufficient time to wallow in my self pity, he sent me a note through an adoptive mom friend who was also struggling with Mothers Day and it hit the core of my being like a hammer. Two things were brought to mind.

1. God's love is enough for me. Short and simple. John 15:9 My boys are not right now and may never be able to show the love that most mothers receive.
2. "Today is much less about how your love is received than how it is given". I did not show them about giving that day AT ALL! I have to be the bigger person here.I am the one teaching them!!

Ouch!

So, I think I need to go and apologize first to my husband for being so selfish and forgetting that he too is struggling with being a father to these two and then to my sons for my acting less mature that day than they do! And, then show them about asking forgiveness.

Here is an excerpt from my friends email who the Lord used to truly bring me back to who I know I can be!

FROM A FRIEND...Funny how Jesus sends us just what we need to hear!!!!(Henry is one of my favorite authors).....In the homily at St. Michael's, Father Jim recalled the life of the Catholic priest, writer and teacher Henri Nouwen. The name caught my attention immediately as I had read his writings before and knew that he devoted the last years of his life to living and serving in a community of mentally and physically disabled people. Nouwen was serving and giving, yet he felt without love. He felt rejected. And then he had a breakthrough: "God loves me, and God's love is enough". (This sounds so simplistic, but I figure if somebody who taught at Notre Dame, Harvard and Yale could call it a breakthrough, it could be one for me too!) Nouwen connected to the reality that God's love is infinite - enough so that he could give and give and give and still have enough to give more. Just keep connected to that source!

John 15:9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."