From Small Things to Great Things....How God Used A Church to Share His Love in the Lower East Side.

This past weekend, our family went back to NYC to share in celebrating all that the Lord has done over the last 40 years at Graffiti Community Ministries/E. 7th Baptist Church. I was there as the Associate Director from 1985-1993. When I moved back to NYC in 1998, I worked at the Metro NY Baptist Association but was a fully devoted member at E. 7th Baptist Church serving in a variety of ways. I was able to be one of the speakers for the "80's" era at our Sunday worship service.

 When I went there, there were few resources available for "doing missions" and you truly relied on faith in the Lord for the provision. Here is what I shared.

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When I arrived in '85, I learned quickly about some "surface" small things.....though NYC is BIG  there are small things there too:

I lived in a very small apt in NYC

There was a very small storefront to do missions out of

I was asked to cook the Wednesday night meal in  a very small kitchen AND a very small stove to cook on.

We had a small mission budget

At that time, there was a small group of kids to minister to

We had small amount of supplies which consisted of pretty much a typewriter, copier, crayons and paper....

Because of those "surface small things" it seemed impossible to do missions in my very "small, unexperienced mind" but over the years,  I was reminded in various ways that "Nothing Is Impossible With God" as He can even use the small amount of the things we have to do GREAT THINGS.

After I arrived,  one of the missionaries told me that the kids in the neighborhood were very rough and were determined to make me, and everyone else, leave town. Well, they DID made me cry(while in my very small apt, of course): they made me cry with their antics, their "colorful" vocabulary and sometimes just not showing up. They were pretty mean kids on the surface. And, well, I chose not to leave. 

They soon got used to me and the others and we all began to invest in doing the small things in their lives. We called in volunteers to be partners for each of our kids, summer missionaries poured Gods love into them in many small and big ways, mission teams came and sharpened the space we had.

We called Fran Schoonmaker at Colombia's Teachers College to teach us about simple discipline and looking at their hearts and not their behaviors. They started coming more consistently. They expanded their vocabularies to more "civil" language and would actually beg us to spend more time with them. There were weekly trips on Sundays to feed them breakfast before church and field trips and sleepovers and birthday parties and even helping them figure out Math.

Graffiti Afternoon Summer Program(GASP) was started, schools and parents were visited. Tears were wiped and hugs were given generously and they were introduced to Jesus and some would become Christians and be baptized....and we as a staff learned about faithfulness and investment and commitment to a neighborhood that needed the Good News and our faith grew big and the childrens ministry grew bigger. My own small, inexperienced mind even grew a few more wrinkles.

Who knew what it would become today. God knew and He certainly has shown me that through doing the small things and sometimes even using the small physical things, great things WILL come.
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This, of course, is just one area that I was challenged in and grew in. I learned to love people just the way they are and if the Holy Spirit needed to change things in their lives, He would do that. My job was to love, to trust the provision of the Lord and to walk beside each person I met along the way.  I SAW transformation in people that society would want to throw away. I saw children grow up, making different choices than their parents that would take them farther along in their journey and make a difference in this world.

More than anything, I saw that God was real and He loved this city that everyone hates and He was there all over the city, calling people to Himself. 

The banquet we had on Friday night celebrated lives changed through Graffiti and how it has expanded to other places.  A lot of lives that were changed were not the people in the neighborhood, but those who served the neighborhood. God used those we came to serve to change our hearts and minds and lives forever!

For more information on Graffiti Community Ministries/E. 7th Baptist Church go to:

Graffiti Church

Some of the Transformed Lives Through Graffiti!

This is Bruce. He is a new creation in Christ and has been being transformed over the last 30+ years.



3 quarters of a family who has had major transformations in various ways(the 4th is in another picture below)!

Lives transformed through music.

People who continue to be transformed through serving.

Eli-One of our kids whose life was significantly transformed in Christ.

Alex-A gifted musician who used his talents and gifts to minister and was transformed himself.

John-who was once ministered to is now ministering to others.

Pastor Taylor Field -continually transformed because of serving.

Some of these photos are courtesy of Graffiti Ministries. The rest are mine!

Some thoughts this Holy Week

Today, I picked up three women from Yemen to go to ESL class. They were fluent in English and as we talked, they shared from a personal view, what has been going on in their home country. They were anxious about friends and loved ones that they had left. They were unsure as to whether they could return there or not.  I realized in that moment that we Americans are both blessed and sheltered.

Why? We are blessed because we have had less turmoil than their country and others. We rarely see fighting on the streets and bombs going off in the midst of a crowd. We are surely blessed that we don't have to deal with the devastation that many others see every day in their countries, cities and towns. We are sheltered because we have NO IDEA what it means to have your loved one killed right in front of you or your friend have their face blown off walking down the street.These lovely ladies reminded me that we need to be grateful for the protection and freedom we have. We whine and complain about all that is going on but we see NOTHING compared to other people on this planet.

We are to be grateful for the GREAT GIFT of living in a country where, for the most part, we can walk safely down our streets, choose our religion, disagree over politics and have whatever friends we want to have, marry who we want, etc. Though we may not like everything we have, it is ours and we need not take this great gift for granted.  We can sometimes be so "fed up" with the politics that we often see it as cheap freedom. We don't value it as much as we should.

 

So, Holy Week, is here. I have been thinking a lot about the significance in my life of this week. I am reminded over and over again this week that the grace and sacrifice that Jesus, God's Son made for us, is not cheap either. It was paid with a great sacrifice...death on a cross.  And therefore, I must not treat the grace and mercy I receive every day as a cheap gift. It is a prize, a cherished gift that I will never be able to "repay" but I can LIVE as a follower of Christ every day and value and cherish the gift of LOVE my Savior and Lord gave to me.

             Do we live as though the Grace you have received is a cheap gift or the best gift we could
                    ever receive? Or do we whine about it because it is not what we want it to be?

Think about it.......

HE IS RISEN. HE IS RISEN INDEED.

Seeing God in His Creation.....

     One of my heroes of the faith is a layman named Jean Vanier. He was a Catholic layman who changed the way many in the Christian church treat those with developmental disabilities. He has started communities world wide where people with DD can live in freedom, enjoy life and live to their potential.The writings he has published have helped me see people in a different light. Not just the developmentally disabled but those who are disregarded, disenfranchised and who are just...different.

Here is a quote from him as he sees people with God's eyes, not his own. 

 “They(developmentally disabled) are essentially people of the heart,” he said. “When they meet others they do not have a hidden agenda for power or for success. Their cry, their fundamental cry, is for a relationship, a meeting heart to heart. It is this meeting that awakens them, opens them up to life, and calls them forth to love in great simplicity, freedom and openness.

“When those ingrained in a culture of winning and of individual success really meet them, and enter into friendship with them, something amazing and wonderful happens. They too are opened up to love and even to God. They are changed at a very deep level. They are transformed and become more fundamentally human.” Jean Vanier

Over the last 30 years in ministry, I have met many, many people who are "different" in many ways. Many of them are people who society would love to throw away or hope that they would just disappear into the woodwork because they may not have proper social skills or see the world in ways we could not explain.  I am very grateful that God in his mercy has helped me to learn to see people and what they could offer instead of what they wanted to take. As I have gotten to "know" these "different" people, I have been stretched beyond imagination. I have been challenged to think differently, to love differently and to learn differently than I was used to. My world expanded in so many good ways, it was amazing....just by seeing them through God's eyes. I pray that every day. Some days, of course, I don't. I am having more days now where I do.

One such experience, of course, has been with my two sons. They have, as you have read in past posts, come to us through adoption and are...well...different. They are quirky, challenging and think in ways that I don't. My oldest loves, loves, love figuring out mysteries on TV and gets excited and dances with delight in the living room when he sees he figured it out. And out of the blue, he will come up with some way out statement about something that cracks up everyone in the family. To be quite honest, when he was growing up, I was embarrassed sometimes at what he said but now see the humor it and in fact, tell my coworkers when he says something funny! We have learned that he has brought laughter to our family and he is learning that he can laugh at himself too. He was "so serious and dark" before when we first brought him home. Now, he laughs and entertains us all,  most times without even trying.

Our second son has taught me that you can survive dark times and that is important to stick by someone when they are in that dark time, plodding along beside them. This past fall was REALLY, REALLY dark for our whole family because of his illness. I, personally, was at a tipping point and continually cried out to God for help and to help  my boy! This son taught me to pray and to trust even when the darkness seems overwhelming. For the first time in 7 years of him being home, he wrote me a note while in an adolescent psych ward thanking me for helping him and loving him even when he was unlovable. I had never heard that from him EVER. I cried for a long time that day, mostly out of relief. For the first time, he seemed to be able to give back some. It gave me some hope. He continues to have insight into this world that I don't. His beautiful mind continues to baffle me, amaze me and remind me that God creates us all differently but beautiful.

Jesus teaches us through scripture that we are to love those who are different, not disregard them. We are to treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve JUST BECAUSE they are His creation. There were many  people before my sons, who made an impact on me and my hope is many more will come my way. I LOVE hanging around people who are quirky, weird or whatever you want to call them! God is in the midst of it all....using THEM to change ME.

I love this scripture...so simple and I don't think it is talking about monetary blessings...I am blessed.

"Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered" Proverbs 11:25 .

Part 2 of "Loving Without Receiving Back". What Does it Look Like?

Not sounding like a "cop out", I would say this: Sacrificial love is different in every situation. We can't give a blanket answer because each person, each situation is different.

Let me give you 5 insights I have had over the last 30 years in learning to love others sacrificially and you can prayerfully glean from them for your own life what you may. Some may seem so simple but they require deep thought, prayer and investment.  My prayer is that you will see through God's eyes, my own experience and learn what you need to from it.

I will tell you that even though these 5 things are hard and sometimes I forget and have to relearn them, they have forced me in a good way to have a deeper relationship with Christ. If you want a deeper relationship with Christ, it is not going to come through the latest and greatest Bible Study or worship song. Those things ARE important but....it is going to come through sacrifice and loving others when they can't/won't love you back. That is where you will learn how the Lord can RADICALLY transform you life....if you want that.
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1. Loving a child who was traumatized for the first 11 years of his life is going to mean putting aside my own parenting model(the one I grew up with)and learning how to parent him the way he needs in order to heal. It will be hard. Others will want you to go back to the default way of parenting. Spank and punish works with some, but not for a traumatized kid. It only traumatizes them more and then they act out more: How do I know? I tried it!! DOES NOT WORK...EVER. It will mean that when they keep doing the same thing over and over again that is detrimental to themselves, you keep the door open to a relationship with them and pray till you think you can pray no more and then you pray more!!!

2. Loving a person from another country or culture means that I take time to get to know that person's culture, spending time with them and if needed, learning their heart language. It means putting aside what you have been taught about reaching out to others and finding out what will work with that person. In fact, that kind of applies to everyone we minister to. Getting to know that person and how they tick and then meeting them where they are is imperative. Don't assume that that person "needs" YOU to rescue them from their circumstances(ie: poverty, language barriers). They may just need you to give them Jesus so that HE can help them through it and you can walk alongside them as they heal and change. Let them tell YOU what THEY need and not assume you know what they need.

3. It means stopping the judging of a person's circumstances and getting to the heart of the matter. Jesus himself never judged a person, he met them where they were and worked with them from there.Everyone has sinned, everyone has messed up. I have learned that someone elses mistakes or bad decisions are NO WORSE than mine.  I have to see their "sin" or circumstances in light of how Jesus sees them. We ALL have sinned and come short of God's glory. Jesus loved them to him. Who he was drew them to him. We too can be a fragrance of Christ and people will be drawn to it. As one person told me once in NYC, "don't stink for Jesus(through your actions), smell beautiful to others(through your actions)".

4. Loving someone who is angry, bitter and spewing out ugly, hateful words means looking past the words, praying the Lord will help me not take it personally and see the hurt beneath the surface. If we take someone at face value and they are spewing out hate, then they have a "heart problem" and we have the answer to that heart problem. Jesus. It will take investment and patience and care to help them come to understand the "peace that passes all understanding in their hearts and minds".

5. It means that when someone does make the decision to become a follower of Christ, we need to let the Holy Spirit guide and direct them to the things in their life that they need to lay down. We can't be the Holy Spirit for them. I, for one, struggled with this for a long time until I realized that becoming a Christian is a BEGINNING, not an end. One does not need to get all cleaned up before they come to Jesus. What they need from us, as the older Christian, is grace, mercy and loving guidance.

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Take this for what you will. I am no expert but I have a lot of experience in messing up in ministry. I have learned the hard way and these are ONLY five of the things that I have learned about sacrificial love.   I do know this though. Everything I do for the Lord requires me to "lay down MY life, MY expectations, MY judgements, MY politics, MY self" to love others. I have had to learn to be willing do this no matter what anyone else thinks.

I LOVE the paraphrase in the Message of Matthew 16:24-26. READ ON and think and pray over it today. 

Luke 9:24

Verse Concepts

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Self-Sacrifice#sthash.QGylCS50.dpuf

Luke 9:24

Verse Concepts

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Self-Sacrifice#sthash.QGylCS50.dpuf

^"Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?"

Luke 18:28-30

Verse Concepts

Peter said, "Behold, we have left our own homes and followed You." And He said to them, "Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal life."
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Self-Sacrifice#sthash.QGylCS50.dpuf

Luke 9:24

Verse Concepts

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Self-Sacrifice#sthash.QGylCS50.dpuf

Can I Love Knowing That I Might Not Ever Receive It Back? Part 1.

I had that question posed to me about our youngest son. He has brain damage/autism and other issues from his past and she asked me that question in this way; " If you knew today he would never be able to love you back in a way you want him to, can you still give him love?" I was not able to answer back right away. It took me some time to digest it and figure out what my honest answer would be. Some moments, as I reflected on it, I wanted to say yes and some moments, no. This question stuck with me for sometime. I am still wrestling with it emotionally but intellectually, I keep thinking about how, as Christians, we are to love others out of obedience, not what they can give back to us. That is very hard as a human being to do. Not only is that questions relevant to my personal life, it is relevant to life as a minister/follower of Christ. Our world says to only love those who can give back to you the same or more than you gave to them. If they can't give you anything, they are not worth your time.   There will be several parts to this topic coming up in the following weeks. I hope you will stay with  me and chew on this question with me. 

This is the first scripture I chose to reflect on this week.  It is a good beginning for me as I process this year, what it means to "truly" love someone without demanding that they love me back.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. Without getting too theological, I noticed something in this verse, "as I have loved you". I began to reflect on what that meant and in a nutshell, Jesus sacrificed his own life out of His love for us. He did it knowing He might not get anything in return. He did it out of a deep, deep, sacrificial love. Can we do that? I think if we have a relationship with Jesus, if we abide in Him daily, if we see the relationship as more than just going to church or living rules, then yes we can. Will the emotions still be there? Yes. Will it be frustrating? Yes. Will we mess up? Yes. But we have the CORE motivation of sacrificial love and the Lord will continue to guide and direct us and prune away our selfish nature if we let Him.

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the reason I get frustrated is because of my own expectations of needing to be loved validated, etc. I am human and those things are part of my human nature but following Christ means letting go of my expectations of someone and what I need/want from them. I need to be able to accept what they can give.  As a follower of Christ, He tells me to "come as you are". I need to be able to say that to others that the Lord places on my path to love. 

 

 Next time: What does this "love" look like?