Lessons Learned from a World Trade Center Victim/Victor After 9-11

Jennifer Wong.....does this name mean anything to you?  It does to me. I never met her though. I heard about her and met her family as I was writing a book called "As the Towers Fell, Stories of Unshakeable Faith on 9-11"(2003).  She died the morning of September 11th at the age of 26. The plane was a direct hit so she most likely died instantly. 

I recently got to speak to a group of graduating seniors(my boys class).  I decided to use what I knew of Jennifer's story to encourage them as they think about how significant their life could be. It was short(short attention span)and I certainly couldn't go into all the details of her life that I knew but here are 3 things I have learned from her and thought I would share with everyone who reads this.....

A little background: Jennifer was an Asian American, a follower of Christ and daughter to very strong Christian parents. According to her family and friends, Jen was full of life and loved the Lord deeply. In fact, over 1000 people showed up at her memorial service in honor of who she had been to them and others......this is what I shared with the graduating seniors.

Lessons Learned from Jennifer Wong

1. Make God your top desire.  No matter what you do in life, Christ needs to be #1. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, you need to decide if you are going to follow HIM or not. For those who are followers of Christ, it is important that you hunger and thirst for God every day. That seemed to be a significant part of who Jennifer was according to her diaries, her family and friends. No other desire can fulfill you except the desire to know God. In the Bible, it says very clearly what will happen IF you fully trust Him.

Psalm 37 says: 

3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
    Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
⁴ Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart’s desires.

⁵ Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.
⁶ He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
    and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

2. Make others a priority in your life. Jen made an intentional decision to think about others instead of herself. She loved them and they were drawn to God because of her. In fact, because of the way she lived, there were those who came to Christ AFTER she died as they watched her family deal with the tragedy and remembered how Jennifer treated them.  She seemed to have a lot going for her on the outside" looks, friendliness, great job, good family......she could have become very involved in herself and only things that concerned her and what she wanted but she chose Christ instead.  Don't get me wrong, she enjoyed life but she knew her SOURCE and she followed Christ command to love others. She got out of her self and thought about others. It showed by the response at her memorial service.

Jesus said it over and over again:  Love God, Love Others. 

 3.  Whatever you do in your careers, do for God and not for yourself. Doing "this life" for God is much more fruitful than just for yourselves. It seemed that Jennifer's desires were to live for God and through her job, her career, her home life and her relationships, all were there to glorify God.

What about you?  

Colossians 3:23 says this: ^"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters". 

Jennifer was young and vivacious, she seemed to have life going for her and in moments, her life was taken away. She did not anticipate going to work that morning to die. She said goodbye to her sister at the subway never to be seen again.

Wonder what you and I would be doing differently if we thought we would die this afternoon? Or tomorrow? Would your life make such a difference? Every life is important to God and as followers of Christ, we can make a difference in this world. EVEN AFTER Jennifer's death, she keeps making a difference. The very fact that we are right here, 13 years later, talking about how she lived is proof that God can take any of us, no matter what we have done in the past and make a difference in this world! 

My challenge to you today.........let your life be God's,not your own as you travel through the next years. What you decide today on how to live WILL make a difference in others tomorrow.  

To God be the Glory for Jennifer's Life......may we all make our life count so that others will see Christ in us.....................

What I am learning from Son#2

When we met S, he was this gangly little boy in J's 5th grade class who needed a mom and dad and we prayed about it and it seemed that we were to move forward and have him become a member of our family. We felt it was the right thing and so we moved forward. Little did we know what God would use this boy for over the last 6 years and a lot of it would be painful but stretching. This one was the one God used to MOVE US OUT of our comfort zone and MADE us depend on the Lord more than we EVER had. Is that a bad thing? Nope!  It hurt at the time but hindsight is 20/20 and so this is what I have seen God do in my life through Son#2.

1. God MADE me depend on HIM and no one else. Because of S's reactions to his circumstances, I was put in a position at times where the professionals and the friends and family just didn't have any answers to what was going on with him and so I was FORCED to depend on the Lord. The verse that comes to mind in this area is one of my favorites.

Isaiah 30:20-21

 Though the Lord gave you adversity for food
    and suffering for drink,
he will still be with you to teach you.
    You will see your teacher with your own eyes.
²¹ Your own ears will hear him.
    Right behind you a voice will say,
“This is the way you should go,”
    whether to the right or to the left.

He stayed true to his word. God taught me to suffer the right way(sometimes I goofed big time but you get the point)and depend on Him. 

2.   S knows how to think through things. Yes, sometimes it has been for evil and not for good(haha) but he really can think through things and write out all the good and bad of every decision. When he is focused, he can tell me the pros and cons of his decisions. I need to do more of that.

3. S taught me about love. I have had to learn to love someone in my home who isn't always "lovely" to be around. S has some issues and though some are not his own doing, some are. I have seen that true LOVE comes when you can love someone through the good, the bad and ugly. I have learned that when someone is hurting, you don't abandon them, you love them through it. AND, we never know what a person truly has been through, so we love anyway....I have learned that true love is sometimes TOUGH love.  I have learned to truly love someone through S. 

4. S really loves to learn. I have always loved to learn but he REALLY loves to learn. From learning to cook a new recipe to the latest and greatest in electronics, he wants to learn. He told me once that "even at my age" I could learn more and more!! He inspires me to keep learning.

5. Finally, S has taught me that most life problems stem from past trauma and that I need to have more empathy. I have learned that though I care about people, I have lots to learn about being empathetic. To empathized doesn't excuse, it understands. I have come to understand that our brains and our pasts so influence who we are right now.  I am learning to understand. 

  

I guess that all in all as I read through this post, LOVE is the theme of what S has taught me. I am amazed as I wrote, how much God has been teaching me about loving a person....sometimes when you can't stand their behavior, sometimes when they are very sick, sometimes when they are uncooperative, sometimes when they are just light and fun and smart! What more do I need from this precious young man than a lesson on LOVE....FAMILY LOVE....TRUE LOVE. 

 ^" Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance". I Corinthians 13:4-7 


I have not arrived here yet, but this is what God is teaching me through this son of mine. Thank you S for being the vehicle in which God is refining me. I know HE is refining and healing you! I have faith that He will one day.....with these words...

"...But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the LORD..." Jeremiah 30:17

 

What I am learning from ...son #1

My #1 son is the best! As he gets ready to graduate, I have been reflecting on his growing up and who he has become. Here are just a few of the traits I admire in him.

JOY God sent him to us to bring laughter. He is just naturally funny. Yes, we laugh at him but not in the mean way...in the "he is so naturally funny and doesn't even try" way! I feel very blessed because in the midst of the chaos, he is usually there making some comment that sends hubby and me into a tailspin of laughter. He is our happy guy! He didn't used to be that way....but once he was stable in our home, grew in Christ and gotten through puberty(never want to go back there again)he has become a wonderful young man. He is always smiling. He jumps up out of bed each day ready to go into the day. He jumps in the car in the afternoon after school telling me "it was a good day" almost every day!! He keeps us accountable about going to church. Every Sunday, he bounces out of bed ready to get over to church no matter how we are feeling!! (hehe)  I SEE Phillipians 4:4 in him every morning. (Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say Rejoice!)  It is rare that he is depressed or down even though he struggles sometimes with depression. The Lord helps him to overcome it and he just bounces around through life!

One of the characteristics that I admire and want to emulate from him is FORGIVENESS. No matter how much I mess up as a mother or hubby messes up as a father, or how much someone might tease him or has bullied him in the past, he forgives. He REALLY forgives. He forgets too.(there is a blessing sometimes in having some short term memory loss). He just doesn't say it....he means it. He loves people the way God does and I wish I had that in me. He accepts ALL people the way they are. One example, he forgave his brother over and over again for some things S did to him. He just said, "he's my brother".

He is also BRAVE. He loves, loves, loves music, The other night at his prom, he was the only one dancing on the floor. The other students were snickering but you know what was really happening right? ......they didn't want anyone to see them be silly or mess up, J didn't care. He felt like dancing and he did...for over an hour!!! He just kept on. I watched him, I watched the others. He just didn't care what they thought...he just wanted to dance and he did!! He ended up getting the whole group of chaperones up there on the floor and we had a blast!I would have worried about those things.

 

J is also KIND. I have never known someone to be kind to so many people. He is always concerned about how you feel and he loves helping those in need. He once came home and asked me to gather some food so he could take to his volunteer day. He knew they were low and wanted to help. For a while, we took a lady we knew to church every week. J was always jumping out and helping her in with her things. He was deeply saddened that she died recently. He hurt because of the loss.

 

Someone once said that people with special needs are closer to God than the rest of us.....you know what, I am beginning to believe it. They are purer and have less filters which can clog us up as humans.  I see God-like qualities in J that I don't see much in myself or many others.  When he came to us, he didn't even know these great qualities were in the Bible....he just lived them. So, to our #1 son, I give you MAJOR KUDOS for being so forgiving, so kind, joyful and  brave! 

I cant wait to see what God does with the rests of your life! 

I want to be like you one day. Please keep teaching me how to be those things! 

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”